


J Select

by jongkuto



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Crack, Gen, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-18
Updated: 2018-07-18
Packaged: 2019-06-12 10:11:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15337647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jongkuto/pseuds/jongkuto
Summary: Matsumoto Jun, a normal person developed an intense love to fulfill something he missed out in his life.





	J Select

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: The characters might be out of character. I'm very stupid. LMAO.

Matsumoto was nothing but an ordinary guy. He had a place to live, a stable career and sufficient money for his daily demands. Heck, he even had a really nice and caring roommate. However, he felt that his life lacked something.

A lover.

This wasn't everyone's loss in life, but to Matsumoto, it was something that he missed out.  Like a typical protagonist in a romance anime, Matsumoto decided that he had to find the perfect partner.

Should he use a dating website? No, it's too dangerous.

Should he ask his roommate about that? No, that will be awkward.

As he was thinking, he realized that he was out of food. Therefore, he headed to a nearby grocery store.

The grocery store was a brilliant idea to spend the time and manage your life properly. At least that was what Matsumoto initially thought.

Walking down the isles, Matsumoto only took what he wanted. His shopping cart was filled with more and more groceries.

When he was wandering around the store, thinking of what more to buy, something caught his eye. It was a brown bottle.

Out of everything in the store, a dull, uninteresting brown bottle caught the man's eye. Certainly, men are truly lame.

Matsumoto found that he wasn't able to get his eyes off this bottle. It was a bottle of steak sauce, and it was the brand he had been searching for a while.

He recalled his roommate took him out for dinner once. And no, this was not a dinner date. Just two bros, chilling by the table, 2 feet apart 'cause you need enough space to eat in a small table for two.

Anyways, Matsumoto remembered how delicious the sauce was. His roommate knew the brand of it and told him, and also dropped a note that this brand was difficult to obtain.

Snapping back to reality, Matsumoto received stares from an old woman. He realized he was blocking the way, so he abruptly grabbed the bottle from the shelves and zoomed away. That would have been quite the embarrassing story to tell your grandkids by the couch.

Purchasing that steak sauce was an awful decision. It was more expensive that he thought. So much for a bottle of seasoning…

He never stopped thinking about how costly the sauce was. His heart started to beat quickly. A rush of excitement filled him. It must be the adrenaline kicking in. Oh dear Matsumoto, what has gotten into your lonely heart?

The bottle of steak sauce stood silently on the table, while Matsumoto fondly stared at it. It gave him a feeling that he had never experienced. Back when he was in school, he never developed feelings for any of his classmates and friends. When he was working, he never grew an odd attachment to his co-workers. Why, oh why that a bottle of sauce could trigger such unique thoughts in Matsumoto’s heart?

The more he put his thought, the more indulged he became. Everything seemed to froze in time, just him, and the steak sauce, intensely staring at each other lovingly…

“I’m home!” A loud voice interrupted Matsumoto’s quality time.

Matsumoto immediately shoved that bottle in a nearby cupboard.

“You’re finally back, Aiba,” Matsumoto replied, his voice more dull than usual.

The man was bitter that Aiba interrupted this magical moment. However, any normal human being would know that staring at a bottle gave out a weird vibe.

“What’s with you today? Your face seems red,” Aiba gave a look of concern.

“It’s nothing, really,” Matsumoto answered.

Aiba raised an eyebrow.

“Are you thinking about a cute pers-”

“Absolutely not!”

“I’m just speculating.”

Aiba headed back into his room.

Finally, Matsumoto could continue spending time with...it. What was he staring again?

Oh yes, the bottle of steak sauce. A 500 milliliters bottle of it to be exact.

“You’re awfully plain, but you’re delicious, and beautiful to see too,” Matsumoto mumbled.

Matsumoto finally knew what was love. The fluffy feeling of affection, the rush of adrenaline, the pursuit of happiness for someone (or something)...

It must be love. It must be.

.

.

.

For a few days, Matsumoto had been thinking of this bottle non-stop. It was so distracting that he spaced out during work and lunch a few times. However, being the responsible person he is, he tried his best to suppress these odd thoughts and concentrate on his work.

Aiba, being considerate, took notice of Matsumoto’s weird expressions and determined to find out the root cause of it. He was very sure that he heard Matsumoto talking to someone (or something, he did not know) fondly, using phrases such as “you’re so pretty” and “I’m so in love with you”.

Perhaps Matsumoto finally found a significant other. He was a good-looking guy after all.

Such occurrences had persisted for a few days. Aiba decided that it was time that Matsumoto open up to him about finding a “partner”. However, when Matsumoto got home from work, he’d always went to the kitchen for a cup of water, and immediately return to his room.

Meanwhile, Matsumoto swore to god that he’d see the steak sauce blushing at all the compliments he was telling it. He swore that it would reply back.

“I really don’t know if I’m allowed to love you.”

“Don’t fear, Jun. I will never abandon you.”

“Really? You won’t?”

“I won’t.”

Like hell would an inanimate object would leave you, Matsumoto. This love was meant to be.

“Are you sure you will support me all the way?”

“I will!”

“I really need to know what you’re capable of, once again.”

Matsumoto finally opened the lid of the bottle. He finally had the courage to open a bottle after wasting money on it a few days prior…

He led out a gentle squeeze.

His mouth, open wide.

To Matsumoto, this is a complete sane way to consume the contents of the bottle. An intense rush of excitement and arousal surrounded his body as he devoured the steak sauce.

Suddenly, Aiba swung the door open, just to see Jun squeezing steak sauce into his mouth straight from the bottle.

It was time for Aiba to leave. He had seen everything.

Matsumoto had never felt so embarrassed in his life before…

Perhaps, he was not as sane as he thought. To be honest, you have to be some sort of messed up to think that getting into a supposedly relationship with a bottle of steak sauce.

Now, He has a lot of explaining to do with Aiba.

**Author's Note:**

> Listen, I'm so sorry that you have to read this. Actually, I'm not really sorry. I wasted hours on this, of course it's worth something.  
> Fun fact: J Select is an electronics store in Hong Kong. Though this whole thing has nothing to do with electronic appliances.  
> Shoutout to @lynsagiura72 on twitter for the sketch that inspired me to do this fic.


End file.
